Today You Held My Hand

Oh, my dear boy. You are growing so fast. Every day you are gaining independence, and you want to do so many things for yourself. You love to climb up and down: stairs, curbs, chairs, beds. You tumble and fall, but you still want to press forward, always moving toward independence.

But today you held my hand.

You walked to a curb, looking determined to climb up. It surprised me when you stopped. You looked up and sidestepped toward me, your hand reaching for mine. I knew you did not need my help; you have climbed that very curb in our driveway dozens of times. And yet, your small hand extended, a gift for me.

After stepping up onto the curb, I expected you to pull your hand away, but you didn’t. Your fingers stayed wrapped in mine. We walked all the way around the house, hand in hand. You bent to look at leaves and sticks while our hands stayed connected. I savored every moment, knowing that your growing independence is making these days fade quickly.

Baby boy, thank you for holding my hand today. Even though you are able to walk alone, it brings me joy to see you reach out for relationship.

As is so often the case, I learned from you today.

I try to do everything myself, pushing forward until I have reached the end of my own strength. I cling to my independence, stubbornly climbing the curbs of life on my own, when there is a loving Parent standing nearby. Just as I delighted in holding your hand and walking alongside you as you explored our yard, God delights when I choose to reach out for him and walk with him in the world he created. There is joy in that relationship, even when I do not think I need him.

I hope that by reaching out for God I can show you how to reach for relationship, even as your independence grows.

Lord, thank you for the lessons that you gently teach me through my tiny boy. I confess that I have pushed you away, trusting in my own strength. Help me to lean on you, to walk with you. Thank you for patiently waiting, ready to grasp my hand whenever I reach for you. 




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